Identity Theft Via Icebreakers

I propose a protest. I am a 20-year-old college student who is still forced to write “something about myself” for every course I take. I understand that a few teachers are genuinely curious. I understand that more need a way to remember your name and a grade the first week of class. I don’t understand how a page about my life as a middle class suburbanite could possibly help my teachers learn more about me.

This “tell me about you” stuff isn’t normal. At parties, age and major are the last desperate attempts to start a conversation. What would happen if you walked up to someone and said, “Hi, I’m Jack, I’m 22 years old studying Anthropology at the University of State. I have a brother but I enjoy the company of my two hound dogs Willy and Wonka much more. My favorite food is pasta, etc. etc?” Answer: You’d make friends with…the punchbowl. Everyone else would think you were conceited or looking for an online dating service. The phrase for over-sharing is even abbreviated (T.M.I.) because it is too wordy to string together quickly to derail a blow-by-blow.

Girls have pepperspray on keyrings for strangers who ask too many questions.

In dating you’re supposed to be very selective when choosing what to reveal to the object of your affection. Giving away too much too soon means they haven’t gotten to know your positive traits well enough to let a bad habit slide. Being “mysterious” is considered a turn-on because it is a challenge and if the person works hard enough to get to know you, they’ll find out everything they want to know on the way. They will earn the insight they gain. There is a phrase for this too: “hard to get”­­-as in, the antithesis of “easy.”

Job interviews do require personal information and a quick assessment of your personality. But they ask specific questions pertaining to leadership and followership.

The coolest interview I had, however, asked questions such as “If you had a superpower what would it be?” It sounds bizarre but it’s different enough to make you swallow your clichés. It’s easy to answer “yes” when someone asks if you would return a wallet that someone dropped on the ground. But when someone tells you he’d like to manipulate people’s actions over any other superpower, discovering his character doesn’t seem so tough. How’s that for getting to know you??

So should we be loose with our identity to satisfy the most abused writing topic of all time? Should our professors, whom we know to possess great creativity, take a new approach to getting to know their students? I believe we can create a painless tomorrow if only we would come up with better ice-breakers.