An experience abroad

I really wish I’d realized how much going abroad would be like re-entering high school. The most tempting faux pas is everyone’s biggest mistake: trying to fit in.
Because, as a foreigner, all you want is to blend into the background to better observe the culture. I’m going to assume this is you, not the pompous ethnocentric whose goal abroad is to “educate” everyone else. Yes? Good. Moving on…
In your country of choice, the “seniors” are the local co-eds. They’ve stepped out every foreign fantasy you’ve had to stare coolly at your carefully selected a la mode outfit and mumble too fast for you to understand. You want so badly to be one of them, but no matter how hard you try they either roll their eyes or suppress giggles when you test your French. Of course, as in high school, these cool kids are just like everyone else-preoccupied with their own worries and problems. The only thing that separates you from the pack is your cute new-kid-on-the-block innocence. They’ve been here much longer, so don’t stress when you don’t instantly “get it.”
In France, they know immediately that you aren’t French. If you try too hard to dress or act French, you will offend them. The French have a deep pride in their nationality that doesn’t reach those without a lengthy French ancestry. No matter how long you live there, you won’t be French. For now, be yourself. I know, it was an impossible concept to grasp at age 16 and, unfortunately, it hasn’t gotten any easier. As long as you remember you are a guest in their country, you will notice more genuine interest.
Yes, you are the freshman here. This doesn’t mean, however, that you should limit yourself to the other freshman, specifically those of the same nationality. One would think that being an American abroad would mean I would, by default, have something in common with the other Americans abroad.
One would be wrong.
I met a guy from Denver who refused to speak to me in English or about American-related things. I understand absorbing the culture but I sensed he didn’t want to be identified as “foreign.” I believe he is a prime candidate for trying too hard to fit in (see paragraph above.)
There were eight Americans in my “Ville Française” from my school. None of us knew each other and while we did learn to live and travel together, an insane amount of back-biting broke out before the semester was over. You don’t have to ostracize yourself from your fellow countrymen and women, but make sure to venture outside your circle every once in a while.
I had the most fun hanging out with my classmates. In the French school I attended, we were broken up into levels and classes. In 3C, I had a group of close friends that had a Vietnamese barbeque, did projects together, and went out for drinks after finals. We were Mexican, Brazilian, Chinese, Taiwanese, American and Vietnamese. None of us spoke the same language so we had to use French to communicate. I was having too much fun to recognize I was learning until my grades skyrocketed.
Abroad, especially in France, it is impossible to be too polite. In the United States, being too formal or overly polite would arouse the suspicion that you were not sincere. The more you say “S’il vous plait, Merci, Madame and Monsieur” over there, the faster doors open. You may learn doors do not open quickly in France. Therefore, any advantage is worth exploiting.
By the end of the freshman year things have changed drastically. You have a new group of friends, a new independence and a new perspective on life. Just like in high school, your experience abroad will change you. I hope it does. Bon chance!