In class the other day we compared generic quirks of the opposite sex. The guys snitched on the girls and the girls exposed the guys. One interesting, and slightly misguided rant started like this:
“Why do guys have to find out about their relationship problems through their wife’s/girlfriend’s friends?”
The simple answer is: you don’t. I mean, you’ll always have the silent brooding types that are cute and cuddly one day and icy cold the next. Usually, however, there is a rational (shocking, I know) explanation for your ignorance.
1. It just wasn’t that important. As much as we love you, there will be things that you do that drive us up the wall. The infamous “leaving the lid up” is a perfect example. Now, we know that in the grand scheme of life, having to lower the lid in the restroom is less than apocalyptic. You are, 90% of the time, a charming and understanding man. We appreciate that you are a rare find. So, to insure that we get to keep you, we’re going to pick our battles wisely. We did probably roll our eyes at you when you weren’t looking. Then, over cosmos on girls night (if I have to stereotype, I’ll at least be thorough), we mentioned your faux pas to make our friend feel better about the fact that her boyfriend leaves the toothpaste cap open.
It wasn’t because we were consumed by rage. We weren’t trying to hide our pain. We just needed to bitch to someone and they were available.
2. You’ve confused us. I’m certain you’ve had this feeling. You’re having a wonderful time doing whatever you two love to do on a Saturday afternoon. Your beautiful girl says something that seems to come out of no where. You aren’t even sure what just happened was in English. But you laugh a little and change the subject. After you’ve gone home, or your sig. other has left the house, suddenly it’s all you can think about. You play the moment over and over again in your head. “What did that mean?” It must have been bad or she would’ve been plainer, you think. Now you’re upset. Why couldn’t she have just said what she was thinking?
NEWSFLASH boys: we do it too. Instead of bottling it up inside, though, we speed-dial our BFF. To you, it may make more sense to call the object of our anxiety. The simplest way to resolve an issue is to talk to the source, right? To us, you’ve already confused us once; we need to know what we’re up against before we proceed. If this is big we need a plan.
There are reasons these girls are our friends. They understand us well enough to know where we stand but are also removed enough from the situation to make fair(er) judgment calls. When we tell our friends what happened, we are looking for advice and hoping this is normal. If you’ve picked among the semi-mature females, we do not expect our friends to rely our mood back to you. We just want to know what’s up.
3. We need some time to cool off. This time, it’s serious. You blew off something important to us (meeting the parents, birthday, cancer test results) for a last minute pick-up football invite. Making a scene right now would do no good. You’re already at the field warming up. Even we did scare you enough to go along with our original plans it would be a pity play. We are too angry for the words, “You are so dead.” So we sarcastically wish you luck and before you can say “Bye, Babe,” we’ve dialed up the girls again.
Just like when you confuse us, when you piss us off, we need to know that a) this happens to every girl b) you weren’t trying to be a jerk and c) there is a way to resolve this without upgrading to a new guy. These situations are the reasons it is so important to make friends with the girlfriend’s friends. You will need their support when the emergency phone call (aka relationship court) comes.
We need to vent to them so that when we talk to you, there won’t be any unnecessary screaming. We want to have already dug through the emotional turmoil to get to the point. Yelling, “Jerk, jerk, jerk!” and throwing plates only creates one more mess. It’s much more effective to say, “I’m really hurt that you didn’t feel our plans were important enough to stick to. What happened?” Really, even though we’re upset, we’re doing you a huge favor.
Conclusion
You shouldn’t have to hear the news from our friends. We’re perfectly capable of letting you know when there is a problem that needs to be solved. A fabulous girl won’t let her friends to the dirty work for her. Keep in mind her friends might just be checking in on the situation before your girl’s gotten around to addressing it. We also may have a well-meaning and meddling friend who “just wants to help.” Still, our friends are the airbag in between that keep you from fatal impact. Even if you do get the news from a friendly source, she will probably have something do with your significant other’s sanity. Maybe she deserves a thank you note instead.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Roadtrip, anyone?
Fall football is at its best and on beautiful weekends such as this, going to an away-game is a fantastic escape from the stress of midterms. This weekend, in particular, thousands of Sooners and Longhorns fans stampeded Dallas to watch the Red River Rivalry game. Tickets went on sale for $95 officially, and then were resold to desperate souls for up to $1,000. Hopefully, you got first shot at OU/TX tickets or have benevolent friends.
The ticket, however, is only a very small part of the experience. Crowded hotel rooms, Dallas traffic, Dick’s Last Stand and trash talking at West End are all very important to a successful weekend. But you’ll need at the very least, money to return home. Because you are stingy (in the best sense,) you may even crave a positive balance in your checking account. The great news is, you can have an away-game weekend and stay on good terms with your bank. You just have to plan ahead.
Where to Stay: The beauty of college is that people are almost universally poor. If you have a friend/roommate/roommate’s friend’s uncle who lives in the Dallas area, you may not have to spend a single cent besides dinner. When you score that, you have every right to gloat and spend the money on souvenirs.
If your connections aren’t in the away-game region, don’t panic. With a little digging on the university website, you can find the “official game hotel” that offers special prices for college students. The hotel that hosted us this year offered 4-person rooms for $100 per person for the weekend, three days and two nights. That’s approximately $33 per day. Nice!
That doesn’t mean you can’t use the booming number of budget travel sites for even better deals either. Travelocity.com and Expedia.com are two that will help you compare multiple hotel prices side by side.
Transportation: Before you check in, though, you have to get there. I need you to pay very close attention to the next sentence. DO NOT DRIVE IN DALLAS UNLESS YOU ARE A NATIVE. Got it? Good. Even if you’re used to the angry drivers that aren’t afraid to die as long as they get there first, gas will end up equaling half your weekend bill. I understand sometimes it cannot be avoided but if you can help it, don’t drive. Carpool legally (no friends in the trunk, they will be cranky by the time you get there) at the very least.
My favorite new ride is the train. For $40, you have roundtrip transportation to Dallas from Norman. I can’t get a full tank of gas for $40. Plus, the party-bus atmosphere is way too much fun to pass up.
Riding the train doesn't mean you won't have downtown transportation either. If you choose to stay at the student-catered hotel, there is a monorail system right across the street that will take you to West End (a.k.a. the largest social gathering of OU/TX fans EVER.) and a bus ride to the game. Even if you aren’t going to OU/TX, public transportation is abundant in college towns so there won’t be any problems. Hotel areas are almost always located in an entertainment district with food and fun within walking distance. Worst-case scenario, you and your friends have to split cab fare. It’s still better than an evaporating college-fund.
Food: A college kid has to eat every few hours. The best way to combat the munchies on a shoestring budget is to buy a cooler and pack cereal for breakfast and a weekend’s worth of sandwiches, fruit and water bottles for lunch. Split this with your carpool gang for minimum –ouch!- factor.
Dinner is different. The reason you scrimped on breakfast and lunch was so you could splurge on the unique (or just really good) dining options at night. You will only have two dinners there anyway. So go ahead, give yourself a budget for great food and a few drinks afterwards. My favorite for Dallas is Dick’s Last Stand. The food is alright but the entertaining wait staff and atmosphere is completely worth it. The game is only half the excitement. The nightlife is just as important. Have fun!
The ticket, however, is only a very small part of the experience. Crowded hotel rooms, Dallas traffic, Dick’s Last Stand and trash talking at West End are all very important to a successful weekend. But you’ll need at the very least, money to return home. Because you are stingy (in the best sense,) you may even crave a positive balance in your checking account. The great news is, you can have an away-game weekend and stay on good terms with your bank. You just have to plan ahead.
Where to Stay: The beauty of college is that people are almost universally poor. If you have a friend/roommate/roommate’s friend’s uncle who lives in the Dallas area, you may not have to spend a single cent besides dinner. When you score that, you have every right to gloat and spend the money on souvenirs.
If your connections aren’t in the away-game region, don’t panic. With a little digging on the university website, you can find the “official game hotel” that offers special prices for college students. The hotel that hosted us this year offered 4-person rooms for $100 per person for the weekend, three days and two nights. That’s approximately $33 per day. Nice!
That doesn’t mean you can’t use the booming number of budget travel sites for even better deals either. Travelocity.com and Expedia.com are two that will help you compare multiple hotel prices side by side.
Transportation: Before you check in, though, you have to get there. I need you to pay very close attention to the next sentence. DO NOT DRIVE IN DALLAS UNLESS YOU ARE A NATIVE. Got it? Good. Even if you’re used to the angry drivers that aren’t afraid to die as long as they get there first, gas will end up equaling half your weekend bill. I understand sometimes it cannot be avoided but if you can help it, don’t drive. Carpool legally (no friends in the trunk, they will be cranky by the time you get there) at the very least.
My favorite new ride is the train. For $40, you have roundtrip transportation to Dallas from Norman. I can’t get a full tank of gas for $40. Plus, the party-bus atmosphere is way too much fun to pass up.
Riding the train doesn't mean you won't have downtown transportation either. If you choose to stay at the student-catered hotel, there is a monorail system right across the street that will take you to West End (a.k.a. the largest social gathering of OU/TX fans EVER.) and a bus ride to the game. Even if you aren’t going to OU/TX, public transportation is abundant in college towns so there won’t be any problems. Hotel areas are almost always located in an entertainment district with food and fun within walking distance. Worst-case scenario, you and your friends have to split cab fare. It’s still better than an evaporating college-fund.
Food: A college kid has to eat every few hours. The best way to combat the munchies on a shoestring budget is to buy a cooler and pack cereal for breakfast and a weekend’s worth of sandwiches, fruit and water bottles for lunch. Split this with your carpool gang for minimum –ouch!- factor.
Dinner is different. The reason you scrimped on breakfast and lunch was so you could splurge on the unique (or just really good) dining options at night. You will only have two dinners there anyway. So go ahead, give yourself a budget for great food and a few drinks afterwards. My favorite for Dallas is Dick’s Last Stand. The food is alright but the entertaining wait staff and atmosphere is completely worth it. The game is only half the excitement. The nightlife is just as important. Have fun!
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