Meeting the Parents

My parents, of course, don’t understand why this is so stressful for our generation. They aren’t meeting the parents. To them, they’re just taking an active interest in their children’s lives. My mother thinks my brother and I often “hide” our friends and dates from them. Maybe that’s the reason we’re hesitant to bring people by. We don’t understand why they are so interested in these people anyway.
Nevertheless, meeting the parents is a tradition that eventually both sides will want to fulfill. The adults will want to make sure you aren’t going out with a serial killer and your boyfriend will want to make sure you aren’t a total nutcase. Or if you are, it’s only because your family has driven you to that state.
Supposedly, it’s easier for girls to meet the guy’s parents. His family is usually less concerned that the girlfriend is corrupting their sweet baby boy. Usually. The standard modest dress, polite manner, and stellar personality tests still apply as a girl.
There are all types of terrifying stereotypes that go with meeting the girl’s parents. If you are wholly unfamiliar, rent Meet the Parents (2000) with Ben Stiller. If you will soon be meeting the parents, however, resist. Trust me, you’ll sleep better for it.
So how to you ace a test that you can’t possibly study for? Sure your significant other can go over possible questions but there aren’t any multiple choice answers and even a good intention can come off wrong in certain situations.
Stop cramming and listen to me. Perfection is not expected. A little bit of nerves only means that this is important to you and the adults will pick up on that. Just in case you need help dialing down the stress here are a few words of encouragement.
The big one is these people want to meet you. They’ve cleared space in their lives because they are interested in getting to know you. Reluctance would be bad but they are excited to see who’s made such an impression on their son or daughter. They want to like you and that is the honest truth. They like their son or daughter. Their son or daughter likes you. You make their son or daughter happy. This makes them happy. They’d like to keep it that way by liking you too.

A few things to think about:

1. In informal situations, nice jeans and a polo (for both sexes) work very well. Girls may choose to accessorize with heels and earrings but go easy. When you try too hard the parents wonder why you feel you have to compensate.

2. Khakis and a dress shirt become the guy wear when things are more formal. Girls, nothing above your knees should be showing. No cleavage and circumstances where shoulders are displayed should be rare. You aren’t trying to look hot, leave the tight stuff at home.

3. Gifts are often overrated. Flowers are something your hostess has to now take care of. Alcohol is inappropriate when any member of the party is underage and it isn’t a nice dinner. If you must, make it small, simple and homemade. Dessert is always accepted. The best way to tell if you should bring a gift is to know the plans beforehand. It’s hard to eat cookies and go waterskiing.
The bottom line: what would Grandma do? And for God’s sake, RELAX!